Saturday, 27 April 2013

Where to begin

Well this feels all too familiar whilst simultaneously overwhelming and terrifying.

You see, dearest Internet, I've been here before. Oh I remember well the feeling of frantically typing away, hitting publish, sitting back and going TA-DA WORLD! READ MY WORDS! and I have missed it.

It's just over five years since I hastily knocked together my old blog and almost two since I last updated it. In the interim I wrote almost 600 posts, learnt an astonishing lot about myself (and the world) and made some wonderful friends. I blogged about money (at first), cooking, exploring, reading, learning, loving. If it happened to me, I blogged about it. I thought I sat firmly in the camp of personal finance bloggers but looking back I really just hovered around the edges whilst doing my best impression of what I think is now commonly known as a lifestyle blogger.

I was frank but I was also naive and entirely winging the technical stuff, knowing zilch about everything it feels like you gotta know in order to run a blog these days. Life got busy and I didn't like myself quite so much and the blogging world ran off ahead while I was still figuring out how to tie my laces (that's a metaphor, I learnt how to tie laces when I was four years old, thank you very much). I know more now, and at times I feel cursed by this knowledge. I am cautious about being frank and outspoken on the internet, at times it feels like a woman can't even breathe near a computer without being judged or trolled, that just didn't happen to me before.

I don't exactly know what kind of blogger I am now, and am not convinced I need to be anything at all. I know I have things to say, for I am always thinking, analysing, reflecting, forever jotting down ideas and witticisms (nobody finds me more hilarious than myself) then cussing at myself for having no (digital) space of my very own in which to make my mark.

So today I've done it. I've made this space, my very own space and there shall be no more excuses. I'm a little bit scared but BOY AM I EXCITED! It's just thinking, which I do all the time, and typing, which I do all. the. time. Thinking and typing, I've totally got this. Oh, dearest Internet, please be gentle.